Please, please, pleaseeeee

I’ve been coming to this bar for a while now, getting my coffee and a snack, finding a place at the back, away from prying eyes. From there I’d usually check on the regulars; making eye contact if they were deemed friendly, avoiding it, if they might possibly take it as an invitation for closer acquaintance. Then I’d usually take a look at the crop of new comers.

I’ve been away for a week, but the old timers are in their places – strange how people try to sit in the same seats all the time.

A third banker-boy has joined the other two; this one has glossy dark hair, bushy eyebrows, brown eyes, designer stubble, and a cute cleft in his chin. The itch on the back of my neck told me that I’d been visually undressed again the moment I’d stepped through the door. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d been pre-warned that I might make an appearance. Their heads are together and the odd sideways glance in my direction indicates that I am being discussed. Boys will be boys.

There’s a short, balding, rotund gentleman in a tight grey suit three tables to my right, who hasn’t looked up from his tabloid news-paper, not even to give me the customary once over. Now and then he picks up his sandwich, still without raising his eyes, takes a bite, returns the remainder to the plate, retrieves his tall glass of lemonade, sips and puts it back on the table. I have the impression that he belongs somewhere in an old movie. For some reason, I decided that I like him.

The following is a scene that was played out in the kitchen of the house I shared with Anna and Mary early one Saturday morning. I include it for reasons which will become obvious….eventually.

Anna had gone home for the weekend for her father’s wedding. Mary, a medical student, had joined the household at the beginning of the second year. She was a lively, curvy vivacious, extremely pretty, highly sexed, and hard working. When she didn’t have her nose in a book, she was either sleeping or had her legs wrapped around a boyfriend. Recently she’d taken up with a member of the university rugby team and was spending more and more time on her back, screaming and groaning, while her bed bounced up and down on the floor.

*

“Go on, please, please, please-e-e-e come,” Mary pleaded, batting her eyelids at me in a theatrical display.
“No. I am not standing on the sideline freezing my tits off, while a pack of mindless cretins wallow in the mud and pretend to be interested in a ball that looks like a melon.”
“But I promised that I’d try to convince you to come.”
“Well you did try. I’ll even give you a note to that effect. But I’m not biting this time, I need to study.”
“Why?”

“I have exams in a few weeks remember.”
“If there’s one person in this whole university who doesn’t need to study, it’s you. Your brain is like a fucking sponge. I bet you can give me chapter and verse on every lecture you’ve attended in the past year and a half. So what is it that’s really stopping you from coming? Or should I say who; as if I didn’t already know.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do. I’ve seen him looking at you. The poor guy is besotted. Not only is he gorgeous and bright, I hear that he has a great, fat, eight inch cock, and that he’s not afraid to use it. And he doesn’t need anyone to draw a map to find a girls clitoris either.”
“Eight and a half inches,” I corrected.
“You’ve seen it?; you sly madam. All this time I thought you were playing hard to get. Have you two been fucking in secret?”
“We haven’t, and we are not ever going to.”
“So how do you know about the length of his dick?”
“He told me.”
“What, just like that? Doesn’t beat about the bush, does he? Did he unwrap it and make you hold it too?”
“Gross. That’s disgusting. Look, I know what guys like him are like. They come sniffing around and then disappear as soon as they’ve got what they’re after. I’m not some easy piece of meat that’s gagging for it. I already have a boyfriend, remember.”

She made a face that was both sad and sneering. “When was the last time fly-boy he came in for a landing and climbed aboard the fanny express, then?”
“That’s beside the point.”
“Come on, I know you don’t miss him. It wasn’t as if he really rocked your boat. I can hear everything through the walls, remember.  And as I recall, it was more a sprint than a long distance race.”
“Bitch! The walls aren’t that thin, and you probably had your stethoscope pressed up against it. And it wasn’t that quick; the average is about seven minutes, as you’ve told me yourself.”

She laughed like a donkey. “You are right, I was born a bitch, my mother was a bitch and I intend to be a slightly less short bitch for the rest of my life. I’m never going to be six feet of slender deliciousness like you, so I intend to make as much of my five feet three inches as I can. So, are you coming or not?”
“Only if you promise not to go off and shag in an alley, like you did last time.”
She smiled at the memory. “I didn’t want to, but he made me.”
“Yeah right. I didn’t see you struggling.”

“You were watching?”
“If you will fuck under a street light, what do you expect?”
“Okay, I promise to try to behave. But he gets so horny after he’s been playing. It’s all that testosterone swimming about in his system. Mine’s like a raging bull with a hard-on. I have to take pity on the poor boy and relieve him of it, or he might burst.”
“You’re a true, blue humanitarian slut, with a heart of gold.”
“Why, thank you. I do my best.”

“I’m sure yours would be grateful for a little hand or mouth relief as well.”
“First of all, he isn’t mine, and secondly-“
“I know……you already have a boyfriend. Does he like blow-jobs?”
“That’s between him and me.”
“Yeah, I bet he does he does, but I’m guessing that he doesn’t ever return the favour. Am I right?”

“Has anybody ever told you that you are bloody nosy?”
She smirked. “Me, nosy! I don’t know what you mean. Anyway, if we don’t leave now, we’ll miss the game, and it’s supposed to be a really brutal affair – all blood and guts and broken bones.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” I sighed, already wishing I hadn’t agreed to go.

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